GCSE Results Day Anxiety: How to Support a Stressed or Nervous Teen
GCSE results day can feel like a very long time coming.
When the exams finished back in June, I think we all breathed a huge sigh of relief. No more revision. No more exams. No more constantly checking the exam timetable.
And for a while, results day seemed ages away.
Now it’s suddenly next week.
Our eldest is getting his GCSE results this year, so we’re right in the middle of this ourselves at the moment. I don’t think he’s overly worried (or at least he’s not showing it!), but there are definitely nerves there.
And I’m nervous too.
You spend months supporting them through revision and exams, then suddenly there’s absolutely nothing any of you can do. The exams have been sat. The papers have been marked. Now you just have to wait.
GCSE results day anxiety is very real for some teenagers, especially as the day gets closer. If your teen is feeling nervous about their results, there are a few things we can do as parents to make the build-up a little easier. Or at least try to.
If this is your first time going through it, my GCSE Results Day guide for parents covers the practical side of what happens on the day and what you might need to think about beforehand.
Why GCSE Results Day can feel so stressful
There’s quite a lot riding on one morning.
Your teen might be worrying about whether they’ve got the grades they need for sixth form or college. What their friends have got. Whether they’ve done as well as expected.
And possibly whether we’re going to be disappointed too.
They’ve also had weeks to think about all those exams.
“I know I got that question wrong.”
“Everyone else said that paper was easy.”
“What if I don’t get the grade I need?”
The NHS advice on exam stress says exams can be a challenging time for young people and their parents. Things like worrying a lot, struggling to sleep, feeling irritable or low and changes in appetite can all be signs that they’re finding things stressful.
YoungMinds also has some really useful advice about exam and results stress, including what to do if results don’t go the way they hoped.
Try not to keep asking if they’re nervous
I know I’d be tempted to do this.
When we think our kids are worried about something, we want to check they’re OK.
“Are you nervous about Thursday?”
“Are you worried about your results?”
“How are you feeling about it?”
But if they’re happily gaming, out with their friends or watching something and haven’t thought about GCSEs for the last hour, constantly mentioning results day probably isn’t going to help.
I’ve tried to let my son bring it up when he wants to rather than asking him about it all the time.
He knows we’re here. He knows we’ll listen.
And sometimes that’s probably enough.
Especially with teenagers who have a habit of wanting to talk about important things at the most random times. Usually when you’re driving somewhere or just about to go to bed.
Try not to add your own anxiety to theirs
This one is hard.
Because obviously we’re nervous too.
We know what their predicted grades were. We know what they need for sixth form or college. We’ve watched them revise (or sometimes not revise when we thought they should be).
We’ve been through mocks, revision timetables and the actual exams with them.
But they don’t need to worry about our reaction on top of everything else.
It’s really tempting to reassure them with things like:
“I’m sure you’ve got a 7.”
or
“You’ll definitely have got the grades you need.”
But we don’t actually know.
I’ve been trying to stick more to:
“Whatever happens, we’ll work out what you need to do next.”
Because we will.
It doesn’t promise a particular result. It just lets them know that if something doesn’t go to plan, we’ll deal with it together.
Keep the days before Results Day fairly normal
I don’t think the whole week before GCSE results needs to become results day week. There’s nothing they can change now.
After months of GCSE revision, mocks and exams, it’s done.
So if they’re out with friends, gaming, watching Netflix or generally doing what teenagers do during the summer holidays, let them.
The night before doesn’t need to become a big event either.
Normal dinner. Normal evening. Hopefully a reasonable bedtime, although with a teenager that’s probably wishful thinking.
Results morning will arrive soon enough.
Let them decide how they want to do Results Day
This is something we’re figuring out ourselves at the moment.
My son still hasn’t decided whether he’s going into school with friends or whether he wants us to go with him.
And that’s completely fine.
Whatever he decides, we’re going to follow his lead.
If he wants to go in with his friends and open his results with them, he can. If he decides he’d rather have us there, we’ll be there.
I think giving teenagers some control over how the morning happens is quite important. So much about results day is completely out of their hands by this point.
They can’t change the grades.
But they can decide who they want around them when they find out what they are.
Your teen might want you right next to them. They might want you waiting in the car. Or they might make it very clear they’d rather you stayed at home!
Try not to take it personally.
It’s their results day.
I’ve covered more of the practical side, including what happens when you collect results, in my GCSE Results Day guide for parents.
Have a loose plan for different results
I don’t mean sitting down the night before and discussing every possible thing that could go wrong.
That would probably have the opposite effect.
But you can have a rough idea of what the options are.
What happens if they miss the grade they need for sixth form?
Could they still be accepted?
Could they change one of their A-level choices?
What happens if they want a paper reviewed?
Can they resit a subject?
Knowing that there are options makes results day feel a bit less like everything rests on one number.
I’ve got a separate guide about what to do if GCSE results aren’t what you expected, which is probably worth having a read through beforehand.
The National Careers Service exam results advice is useful too. It covers unexpected results, resits and what students can do next.
You don’t need to present your teenager with all of this information now.
Just have it in your back pocket.
Be careful with comparisons
Results day plus teenage WhatsApp groups. What could possibly go wrong?
Within about five minutes they’ll probably know what everyone else got.
Someone will have nine 9s.
Someone will have done much better than expected.
And someone who apparently “didn’t revise at all” will somehow have amazing grades.
It’s so easy for teenagers to look at someone else’s results and suddenly feel differently about their own.
If your child got the grades they needed, that’s what matters.
Their friend’s grades don’t take anything away from theirs.
If their GCSE results aren’t what they hoped for
This is probably when our parent instinct to fix things immediately kicks in.
I’m definitely a fixer.
If there’s a problem, I want to know what we need to do about it.
But if your teen opens their results and they’re really disappointed, they might not want to immediately hear about resits, appeals, alternative courses or how GCSE grades won’t matter when they’re 30.
Give them a minute.
Let them be disappointed if they’re disappointed.
Listen first.
Then you can start looking at what happens next.
And probably avoid:
“I told you that you should have revised more.”
Even if you’re thinking it.
There’ll be time for the practical conversations later.
The National Careers Service also has information for parents, which can be useful if you’re suddenly faced with results you weren’t expecting and don’t know where to start.
When Results Day nerves feel like more than just nerves
There’s obviously a difference between being nervous because GCSE results are coming and anxiety that’s starting to affect everyday life.
The NHS says signs of exam stress can include things like:
- worrying a lot
- feeling tense or irritable
- headaches or stomach pains
- struggling to sleep
- changes in eating
- losing interest in things they usually enjoy
- feeling negative or low
The NHS guidance on anxiety in children and young people says anxiety can become a problem when it’s very strong, gets worse or starts interfering with everyday life.
So if your teenager isn’t sleeping, isn’t eating properly, is withdrawing from things they’d normally enjoy or just doesn’t seem themselves, it might be worth getting some extra support.
You can speak to your GP or someone at school your child trusts.
And you know your own child.
If something feels more than ordinary results day nerves, don’t feel you have to wait until results day is over before doing something about it.
Where to get help with GCSE Results Day anxiety
If your teen is really struggling with GCSE results day anxiety, rather than just feeling understandably nervous, there is support available.
NHS
The NHS has advice about anxiety in children and young people, including signs to look out for and when you might want to speak to your GP.
YoungMinds
The YoungMinds exam time guide for parents covers exam and results stress as well as supporting a young person who’s disappointed with their results.
Parents and carers who are worried about their child’s mental health can also contact the YoungMinds Parents Helpline on 0808 802 5544.
Childline
If your teen would rather talk to someone themselves, Childline offers confidential support for young people under 19. They can call 0800 1111 or find online support through Childline.
National Careers Service Exam Results Helpline
Sometimes the anxiety is mainly about what happens if I don’t get the grades I need?
Students and parents can call the National Careers Service on 0800 100 900 for advice about exam results and what their options are afterwards.
If you’re concerned about your child’s mental health or think they need urgent help, don’t wait for results day to pass before getting support.
Whatever happens, we’ll work it out
It’s very easy for GCSE results to feel enormous when you’re right in the middle of them.
And I’m not going to say “GCSE results don’t matter” because obviously they do matter. Especially when your teenager needs certain grades for whatever they’re hoping to do next.
But they aren’t the end of the road either.
There are usually other options if things don’t go quite to plan.
Right now, we don’t know what will be inside our son’s envelope next week.
Hopefully there will be lots to celebrate.
If there isn’t, we’ll work out what happens next.
For now, I think our job is just to make sure he knows that whether he comes out with exactly the grades he hoped for or things don’t quite go his way, we’re there.
And whatever he decides about results morning – friends, us, or a bit of both – we’ll follow his lead.
More GCSE Support for Parents
If you’re going through GCSEs with your teen too, you might also find these useful:
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