Bonding with a baby is one thing, but trying to bond with your children as they begin to grow up and get older can be a whole new challenge in itself. As children get older, they start to become their own person and they grow their own personalities. They start to become more influenced by social media, television, people at school, peer pressure, and much more. This means you never know what direction your relationship will grow into when you have children. Some children are close with their parents, some will think their parents are too embarrassing to be around and a variety of other feelings can develop. It is vital that as a parent, you make an effort and are proactive in seeking a strong relationship with your children. There is no right or wrong way to do this, as it will depend on what your children want, what needs require meeting and more. To help you on your journey, here are some top tips for bonding with your children as they grow up.

Learn about them and get curious

The most important thing you can do is get curious and learn about your children. They are always going to be learning and growing, especially as they get older and spend less time with you and more time with other people. This means that their growth and development are no longer within your control. Take time to ask them about their day, about themselves, their interests, their hobbies, their friends and more. This is a great way to show that you care, but also to continue to get to know and bond with your children.

Play games together

Games are a great way to bond with your children. Games are fun, and there is always a game that children will love. There are a variety of board games you can play around the table, or you can always set up competitions and play games online like solitaire. See what your children would find fun and suggest a game on a rainy day. Games are great because they require teamwork, cooperation, communication and more.

Make them feel safe and secure

Children need to feel safe and secure throughout their lives, not just as a baby. This means providing a home where they feel they can come home to at the end of the day. Making a home safe and secure will look different for everyone and can involve a variety of tasks and actions. It isn’t about what the home looks like, although letting them have a nice room will be a bonus, but more about how you hold yourself, how you respond to your children, how you talk to them when you listen to them, how you show affection, how you react to conflict, how you cope, what structure and boundaries you provide, and more.

Be someone they can trust and open up to

You must provide an open and honest space in the home where your children feel they can come to you if they are in trouble or if they need anything. Ask them regularly how they are and check in with them. Share some personal (but appropriate) things with them so they know that trust is a two-way street. Be careful with how you respond to them when they share something with you, and practice actively listening rather than getting hot-headed or reacting. Be on their side.

Meet their needs

A child’s needs are going to change as they grow and develop. Everyone has basic needs that require meeting, such as safety, security, food, water, shelter, belonging, and more. You should also find out through your curiosity, listening and safe space what your children need to help them thrive. This might be supported by their homework, or it might be that they get overstimulated and need some space. Children might not know what their needs are, so explore them with them and help them to understand as well.

Do something regularly

Doing something regularly is a great way to bond with your children. Whether it’s a walk in the park or going for an ice cream, this is a great way to get to know your children. It can be a way to show them that you care and to have a good presence in their life. It might also help with other things you are trying to achieve as mentioned above, like providing a safe space, getting to know them and listening to them. When you are out doing something, the pressure is taken off you and your children from a serious conversation and it might just flow more naturally.

It can be difficult to bond with your children as they get older. To help you, follow these top tips.

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