Dating has changed exponentially over the years, and while this has always been the case over the millennia of human civilisation, it seems that it has changed almost beyond recognition during the past 20 years. While you or your parents may have attempted to woo their potential suitor with dates, flowers, and good old-fashioned courting, today’s youth (and increasingly adult population) seem content with opting for the vast array of dating apps that have turned the age-old process of finding love into something more akin to shopping online. This post will cover a few ways in which the internet and, more specifically, mobile applications have turned the world of dating on its head.

Buy, try, return, repeat: dating’s evolution

Gone are the days of chance meetings at local coffee shops or through mutual friends. While these things can still occur, dating has become more like a shopping expert where you swipe through profiles, try out matches through messaging and early dates, and quickly move on if the connection isn’t there. However, it’s interesting to note that while many applications like Tinder and Bumble popularised this kind of dating, others are looking to break the mould and bring back the old ways, but in digital form. As you can see on Flure, these modern services attempt to blend a more private and human-focused approach with the way that most are used to dating (i.e., online). Some argue this efficiency has taken the romance and mystery out of dating, reducing human connection to surface judgments and brief interactions. But others say it simply reflects our busy modern lifestyles, making dating more convenient and allowing users to focus only on the most promising matches. As with retail, the new paradigm gives consumers what they want…choice, convenience, and the ability to try with low risk.

Optimal filtering or shallow judgments?

By reducing profiles to mere hots and brief bios, apps may encourage users to focus only on superficial attributes at the expense of more important things like personality and character. Some argue that this level of filtering inevitably leads to shallow judgments that fail to capture the full complexity of human relationships that have evolved over thousands of years. As with any tool, how dating technology is used depends on the intentions of individuals. While some prioritise looks or trivial details, others focus searches on optimising long-term compatibility, even from limited profiles.

The silver lining

While dating apps may seem to encourage a “try before you buy” approach to relationships, there are also benefits to having more control over the process. Online dating allows users to be upfront about what they want from the start, whether that’s something serious or casual. No time is wasted on unclear intentions or mixed signals. And with the popularity of digital dating, the stigma around it has waned. It’s now commonplace for singles of all ages to use apps, making them a universally accepted way to meet new people. Dating services even the playing field for introverts or those with busy schedules by expanding social networks beyond local circles. While filtering may seem superficial, it could simply make the search more efficient. By focusing on commonalities upfront, apps may ultimately lead to higher-quality connections between optimally matched users from day one.

Modern dating has become a miasma of superficiality and decadence or an efficient way to find love in an increasingly busy world, depending on who you ask. However, using the right tools, you can blend the best of both worlds to help you find love on your own terms, without the inefficiencies of the old ways.