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Are you too busy mummy?

“Are you too busy mummy?”

These are the words that came out of my 4-year-olds mouth the other day that made me stop in my tracks.

Sometimes, I get so caught up in to-do lists and deadlines that I forget that with it, I can come across as a mean and moody mum that doesn’t like them having fun.

Believe me, it’s not intentional.

However, they shouldn’t have to hesitate about asking me if they can do something in case I am busy right?

I’d just picked him up from nursery on my work from home day and he wanted to balance on a small bit of concrete edging on our way out.

I’ve lost count of the number of times he’s asked to walk on it and I’ve said no. He then proceeds to ask why and my response is usually “because we don’t have time” or “because we need to rush home, let’s do it next time”

Except, recently there’s rarely has been a “next time”.

Does stopping for an extra few minutes really have that much of an impact on my day?

No.

I think I’ve gotten into such a habit of rushing around that I’ve had tunnel vision. I’ve forgotten to let him have fun and be free.

It won’t be long until he starts Reception in September where he will have to learn to sit still and listen to a teacher. His play time will be restricted and there will be plenty of time for him to abide by rules and regulations then.

Until then, if he wants to balance on that edging, or walk on the wall holding my hand why not?

The school had a dress-up day after Book Week in March. It was a week later than World Book Day but they could go in as a character from a book or in their pyjamas. E wore his dragon onesie which had a velcro tail on.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BRc_j4bD_aB/

When I picked him up from school he told me that a boy had pulled his tail off in the playground. He later told Mr H that he’d gotten upset and cried because he thought he would be in trouble with me and that I would tell him off.

Sigh.

Is it right that the first thought that ran through his head was me telling him off? When he told me after school, I simply told him that it didn’t matter and that it was velcro that would right back on. There was no shouting or telling off, after all, it wasn’t his fault and I’m sure the boy that did it was just playing.

I don’t want my kids to dread telling me things for fear of getting into trouble or telling them off. Maybe I’ve gone wrong somewhere down the line?

I am all too aware that they grow too quickly and even though I always have a million and one things to do I know I have to stop and live in the moment and enjoy this time with them. Before I know it, they will be teenage boys who would rather be hanging out with their friends or locked in their rooms than spending time with their mum.

So the next time they want to stop and walk on the wall, or ask to stop by the park it won’t be an automatic “No, we haven’t got time”. I need to relax and ease up on them a bit and let them have some fun. They’re only young one right? I’m going to try and let them take the lead once in a while, who knows, I might learn a thing or two.

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About The Author

Picture of Maria
Hello and welcome to Suburban Mum! I'm Maria and I'm mum to two boys - E who's 14 and M who's 11. This blog is about my family, the ups and downs of being a working mum and everything in between. If you want to find out more about me and my family head over to our About us page.

16 thoughts on “Are you too busy mummy?”

  1. five little doves

    I love this, and it’s something I really want to readdress. I seem to spend my evenings working at the moment, sometimes that creeps into early evening before they are in bed, and I hate that they just see me sat here doing my work when they want me to go and read them a story or do something fun. It’s so hard to get the balance right sometimes but they grow SO fast, time is so precious. #KCACOLS

    Reply
  2. Cassie

    Aww I totally get where you are coming from. We are all guilty of it. I try and make a conscious effort to do what he asks and make time so we aren’t rushing. I feel like being a SAHM I should dedicate my time for him. it would be different if I had work to get to. I still end up rushing him sometimes if we have a class to get to and are running late.

    We have that cute dragon onesie.

    I do cringe when I hear mums rushing their child onto the next thing when we are at groups or getting irate because they are getting messy. I think a lot of us expect too much from children and try and get them to fit into our hectic lifestyles.

    #KCACOLS

    Reply
  4. Bread

    I worry I’m taking on too much all the time. I mean I’m running two blogs and working full time and that’s just for starters but that should really be it because I have Snappy too. #kcacols

    Reply
  6. Nicola

    You are definitely not alone! I find myself saying no far more often than I ever say yes – and rarely for a good reason…usually because I just want to get on with my own jobs. I’ve definitely started trying to say yes more and things certainly become more fun! #KCACOLS

    Reply
  8. Madeline (This Glorious Life)

    It can be so hard can’t it, juggling everything, but I think you’re right that sometimes we do need to just slow down a bit and take things at our children’s pace. When it’s dry I let my two hang around and play in the school playground for a bit when I pick them up, and it really is nice to take that time rather than just rushing home every day to get on with the next job that needs doing! x #KCACOLS

    Reply
  9. mainy

    Yep, loads of times I’m saying I’m too busy or next time which is really just not on. I need to take more time for them and play more. Mind you my 11 year old is going through a sulky teenager phase already so I’ve really got to pull out all the stops to find something on his level:)
    Mainy
    #KCACOLS

    Reply
  10. Laura

    Lovely post, I keep trying to keep this in mind especially when I’m shouting at my boys to hurry up and get ready in the mornings. #KCACOLS

    Reply
  12. Peachy and her Mommy

    Peachy is only 18 months old, but I found myself with similar feelings a few months ago. With so many things to do I’m always multitasking until I realized that Peachy never has all of my attention. She made her feelings on this issue very clear. I now make it a priority to turn everything off and focus on her every day. I have a more set schedule when I focus on being productive, and when it’s time for family fun. I no longer let my work bleed into Peachy’s time. She deserves a present mommy. #KCACOLS

    Reply
  14. Sarah - Arthurwears

    parenting can be so hard, and so full of guilt! I always try and take a step back and think ‘hang on, why not?’ ….it does mean that other jobs go by the wayside often, for example, my house is always a mess and there is always washing to be done etc – but i just remind myself that Arthur wont remember those things when he is older, but he might remember holding my hand and jumping off a step outside (for the hundredth time!), or reading the same book over and over again lol #kcacols

    Reply
  16. Wendy

    We all do this at some point so don’t beat yourself up. I’m definitely trying to say yes more to my boys and stop trying to fit them in around my to do list, it’s not fair. Work/cleaning/lists can wait, my boys are the most important thing and I need to start showing them that more often xx #kcacols

    Reply

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