If you’re going through a divorce, it’s important to bear in mind the welfare of any children who might be affected by the decisions you make, and by the process itself. Family law in the UK has been shaped to support the welfare of children as a priority. 

Speaking to family law solicitors can help you to come to the right legal arrangements, and to avoid unnecessary stress along the way. But there are also things that parents can do to make life easier for children, and to give them the best possible chance of coping with the changes happening at home.

Open Communication with the School

Your child’s education is essential. For this reason, you’ll want to be open and honest with the school about what’s going on. In many cases, the school will have resources to help make things easier. You might also have duties to think about under the school’s ‘Separated Parents Policy’. The school will want to know who has parental responsibility for the child. After all, they need to know who to speak to about matters relating to the child. 

In many cases, schools might play an important role in monitoring the child’s state of mind, and supporting their wellbeing. Teachers, counsellors, and catering staff might all be able to look for changes in behaviour and offer support and advice where appropriate.

Maintaining Stability and Routine

A divorce can be a hectic, tumultuous time. It’s easy to feel like the world around you is coming apart, and that things will never be the same again. This sense of uncertainty can be a significant source of stress, which might affect a child’s general happiness, and their academic performance. 

To combat this, you might seek to ground your child in routine. Encourage them to participate in extracurricular activities, and seek out healthy outlets for the emotions they’re feeling. The right after-school club can provide a sense of routine and belonging, and escape from the stress of home life.

Addressing Emotional Needs

When a child’s parents are going through a separation, it’s common for them to feel negative emotions like sadness and anger. Providing them with the support they need to deal with these emotions can be vital. This might take the form of support groups, where children going through the process can share their feelings. Or, it might mean one-to-one sessions with a professional counsellor. 

Encouraging Open Dialogue at Home

Of course, it’s also important that children feel empowered to talk at home. Check in with them regularly, even if it’s just to ask how things are at school. Provide a welcoming, empathetic environment, in which they feel comfortable raising questions, and voicing negative emotions. Get it right, and you’ll give them the skills they need to deal not just with the divorce, but with all of the other distressing events that life might have in store for them.

Collaborating with the Other Parent

If your divorce is acrimonious, it can be difficult to have a constructive conversation with the other partner. But when the welfare of your child is on the line, the importance of adult conversation and collaboration becomes difficult to ignore.

Don’t use either the child, or the school, to further your own side in a conflict. Make sure that you present a united front, and avoid arguing in front of your children, too. If either of you gets new information about your children, whether from the school or from the children themselves, it’s vital that you share that information promptly.

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